E. B. Kellinger- Artist

Loosening Up

2010-06-18T11:02:00.003-04:00

Anyone who knows me - as a person and an artist - knows I have a few control issues. :) Specifically in art, I am very, very restrained. I work on those huge canvases with a tiny brush, applying paint on canvas carefully and consistently. By the time the images get on canvas, there is no uncertainty about where the piece is going. It’s been planned and controlled from conceptualization.

Well, in an attempt to loosen up a little, I decided to do an abstract. A friend built me a 48” x 72” cradled wood panel and I decided to use house paint for the surface. I visited numerous Lowes and Home Depots and bought all the weird colors they had in the discount, “Ew, I don’t like this color so I’m returning it” bin. I bought assorted odd brushes - again, from hardware stores - roofing, wall paper, faux finish brushes. I was ready to let loose.

First things first, though. I needed to make a small swatch board, cross referencing the paint cans with the swatched colors. Now, let me ask you, do you see the irony in this? I honestly didn’t. I had an open studio and was proudly showing all my visitors my preparatory attempts to let loose. The subsequent looks of - amusement? pity? - made me stop in my tracks and just shake my head. I got it. Geez.

I reluctantly put the swatch board away and one Saturday went in to do my painting. Logistics was a consideration...how was I to actually get paint on canvas? I decided to pour the paint into cups and then directly pour onto canvas. My initial idea was to use all those cool brushes and scrape-y things to create texture. But when I took that cup of paint and poured the line...I was enamored. With the line. I wanted to just call it a day there. No, no, no, I told myself, move on. I poured the next color. And the the next. Straight lines gave way to curved and circular lines. I was practically throwing the paint. I stood there looking at all this paint and the idea of lifting the canvas up on it’s end occurred to me. What the hell. I did it - no easy feat, since the sucker weighed about 50 pounds. I let the paint drip for a while and then I wondered what it would look like of I tilted it the other way. I did. It dripped some more. Paint was everywhere. I stepped in it...tracked it through the studio, got it between my toes.

Anyway, you get the message. I used no brushes, nothing other than cups to pour the paint. And the end result couldn’t have been further away from my expectations. But, I had fun. BIG fun. While it would be a while before I would do this again (this occurred last summer, well before my “screw-it-I’m-going-to-play” epiphany from the last post), I do feel that this experience helped open me up to new creativity.

Musings...

2010-06-16T11:16:00.003-04:00

So Why Can’t Artists Be Creative Anymore??

My difficulties have highlighted an idea/notion in my mind. There is all this talk of being creative in the workplace, how creative people are going to take over the world, yada, yada. But let’s look at what’s really happening. As an artist - and one who would very much like to make my sole living from selling art - it was ingrained in me early that I would need to 1) have an easily identifiable style, 2) create a body of work in that style and 3) don’t deviate. I was taught that mixing it up - with alternate mediums, styles, etc. would just confuse buyers and make people hesitant to collect your art. (And that is yet another notion that I find questionable - that people need to collect serious art out of the desire to “invest” as opposed to the attraction/love/etc of the piece they are viewing - messed up, if you ask me, but that’s a whole other topic of discussion.) So, I am a creative person. My creativity, IF I am to be successful, has to be limited to a particular niche? After seven years of entertaining this idea, I have finally said screw it.

As I said in the last post...it is time to play.

Update

2010-04-06T10:46:00.003-04:00

So, it’s been a long time since I have blogged about anything art. And, there’s a good reason. Because I haven’t done much having to do with art. Since Reveal/Conceal in fall of 2008, I have been struggling. Other than a few commissioned portraits, I have produced nothing. I have cancelled shows. I have avoided the studio.

Now, a few things have contributed. A nasty economy means art sales decline (in my case, um, they disappeared). Especially when you paint large-ass oils of odd things. I couldn’t make myself paint something more appealing “to the masses” so I went out and found a “real” job. I have a background in technical sales, so I was lucky enough to be hired at an IT recruiting firm; by far the nicest people I have ever worked for. And, I took a freelance job writing artist bios and critiques (positive only) for an art website. All of these money making endeavors have kind of sucked the creativity out of me (or at least the drive to actually make art - unlike writer’s block, I have plenty of ideas...just no impetus to do them) and lessened considerably the amount of time I have to actually paint.

And, then there’s another element I’m not sure I truly understand. I had been putting all the Reveal/Conceal images out for grants, residencies, etc. and was turned down for every last one of them. I was talking to a fellow artist about my disappointment at the most recent rejection and I said - outloud - “it’s like I am looking for someone else to approve of my work so that I can approve of it.” Yowza. Epiphany.

I had a show scheduled in March and had decided to do flowers in my signature style. For the following reasons:

They sell.

I had a bunch that were not finished, so I wouldn’t have to do as much work to get ready for the show, since I had procrastinated horribly and was now under a severe time crunch to get it done.

All compelling reasons, I know. Notice there was no YEN, URGE, NEED to paint these flowers. So, it won’t be a surprise that when I stood in front of the easel, I COULDN’T paint. Finally, competing elements of business versus creativity confronted each other...and the result was a complete stand-still on my part.

This was when I gave myself permission play. More on that later.

Talk20!

2009-10-07T23:33:00.004-04:00

Thanks to all of you who came out to Talk20 tonight at 1708 Gallery. It was a great evening and I really, really enjoyed hearing so many artistic points-of-view!

I hope - if you are looking at this blog - that you would like to participate in The Reveal Conceal Project for 2010. If you have a chance, look at some of the older posts from last year...there is a chronicle of the 2008 show that will give a lot of insight as to where this show came from. WAY more than I could say in my mere 20 seconds per slide.

Instructions for submitting are to your right. Email your submissions or, if you are in the neighborhood, stop by my studio at Plant Zero (Studio 59).

Where does the time go??

2009-03-09T10:59:00.002-04:00

Yowza, I have been away from this blog for a while. I need to re-do the entire thing, so it's not only about "Reveal/Conceal" and that is somewhat of a daunting task, since all my graphics, etc. are on a PC and I switched to a Mac in November. Whine, whine, whine...I know.

So, what is E. B. Kellinger up to now, besides procrastinating up a storm?? I have been working diligently on a commissioned portrait that should be done within the next couple of weeks. That, along with some consulting for an art website, has kept me pretty busy. Two more commissioned portraits after that, as well as a new collection of flowers for a show in Gaithersburg in August. I want to do some unusual sizes (28" by 84" ish) so, I'll be stretching bunches of canvases.

And, I am always thinking about Reveal/Conceal 2010...I have to get on the ball and find a gallery/venue for the exhibit. It will take about a year to prepare for, including the issuing of invitations, etc. I'll be doing Artomatic again this year (May 29 through July 5 at 55 M Street, SE) and will set up another photo booth...hopefully a little more sophisticated, if I can figure out how to secure a camera so it doesn't walk off, you know.

That's all for now!

ART BUZZ - November 20th!

2008-11-16T00:59:00.007-05:00

Not exactly Reveal/Conceal related (but this blog will have to change eventually anyway!)...I'll be showing a few pieces at ART BUZZ in Washington, DC on November 20th. Come on by if you are in town. (Click on the invitation to see a larger version with all the details.)

Photo Quilts

2008-11-16T00:10:00.007-05:00

For those of you who missed the show (and btw, it's still up for a few weeks...the show got extended until the end of November), I wanted to include full pictures of the photo quilts. These are the pictures you all sent me, grommeted, wired together and framed in silver conduit. Click on the pictures and you'll see a larger image.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

2008-09-30T16:18:00.004-04:00

This show wouldn’t have been possible without the help of many, many people.

I’d like to thank all of those people who submitted photos...everyone from friends and family (oh, and sorry about the insistent phone calls and emails bugging you to submit photos) to complete strangers who saw the blog or a postcard.

Thank you to the Ukrop's for the very generous permission to use their logo on Revelations.

Thank you to Thomas, wherever you are, for asking me the simple question (almost TEN years ago...) that changed my life, "What would you be doing if you could do anything at all?"

Thank you, Arlene, for guiding me in the yogic lifestyle...and letting me off the hook when it was obvious that I had overestimated my capabilities.

Special thanks goes to Becky Eschenroeder, Vinnie Gonzales and Tom Wilkerson; all very talented photographers who shared their photographs with me.

Thanks to my parents and sister for their help and support.

AND, extreme gratitude goes to Eti de Villiers for all of his amazing help with every facet of this show. Here's a photo of him hanging the quilt...if I had them, I would include photos of him helping me stretch some pretty large canvases, grommeting 800 corners (because, even with all of my weight on the grommet press, I couldn't make it work...oh darn), detailed planning and hanging of the photos, framing the paintings, hanging the paintings, lighting the paintings and graciously dealing with my freaked-out self.

The Show is Up!

2008-09-30T14:48:00.009-04:00

Despite the aforementioned difficulties, the show went up (the final light was adjusted at 1:30 am that Friday...). The opening reception was well attended and everyone seemed to have a good time. Forgive the lack of details; I was a little fuzzy-headed...lack of sleep, too many inhaled fumes, etc., etc.

MY highlights (aka, things that I actually remember):

Every portrait subject except for one (Rose-Colored Glasses) was present. It was great fun watching their reactions to other people’s reactions to their portraits, especially when those around them weren’t aware it was them. (Does that make any sense?)
Seeing the Scottish contingent who came all the way from DC for the show...this was the tighty-whitey wearing kilt guy who was featured on this blog and in the photo quilt at the exhibit. (Come on, admit it...you always wondered what they wore under those kilts didn’t you???)
Meeting my husband’s date.
Introducing my husband to my date.
My parents meeting my husband’s date. (Haha, ok, I should say my ex-husband, since we’ve been separated for two years, but that sounded funnier...and it really was the first time any introductions of the sort have been made...)
Hearing the many stories that went with the submitted photos...stories of introspection and personal growth.

Absurdity

2008-09-19T17:54:00.002-04:00

Those of you that have been to my studio have seen my blackboard wall with one of my favorite quotes:

"The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth."
- Albert Camus

Well this past week or so has been one of extreme absurdity. The consequences of procrastination have reared up to slap me in the face and I have sworn...SWORN, I tell you...to never wait until the last minute again. (yeah, yeah, yeah)

So, last week, I open a bottle of the stuff I use to make my paintings shiny - galkyd - and proceed to paint it on three of the finished paintings. The galkyd always dries overnight, but for some reason it didn’t this time. Five days go by...no dry, just a sticky, tacky mess...and I realize I have a problem. Apparently, I got a defective bottle of the galkyd. (I might become obsessed with the fact that I’ve used many, many bottles of this stuff and have never had a problem before and why, in the name of all that is decent, would the cosmos decide to make it happen now??? But, in the words of my ever-so-sensitive teenage daughters, “whatever.”)

It was during these five days that the studio maintenance people decided to seal and power wash the HUGE skylights above my studio...which really is a good thing because water leaks through the roof regularly. However, the power washing let loose a torrent of bugs, grit, dirt, and generally gross 100-year-old-warehouse-gunk to the studio below. And, yes, the paintings were under the skylight (unavoidable, since the skylights cover most of my studio). Did I mention the sticky, tacky condition (think flypaper) of the paintings? Luckily, I was able to scream and yell loud enough to get them to stop before much had fallen. Unluckily, they just came back the next day when I wasn't there and finished the job. (I might obsess on the fact that in all the years I have been in this studio, they have never messed with the skylights, etc...why, why, why....whine, whine, whine...you get the picture.)

Good news, though...I managed to recover the paintings with tweezers (for the gunk) and new galkyd, which ended up liquefying the first stuff and drying over it. Yowza, THAT was a close one. (I am so tempted at this point to tell you about the next round of stupid, bad luck...but then I would be dangerously close to making even myself say enough already...so, I’ll spare you.)

Lesson? (Since I seem to be so fond of the cosmic message that comes from situations like these...) Keep the Zen (which I surprisingly did) and have a Plan B (or in this case Plans C, D, E, F....)

Precipice

2008-09-18T12:18:00.006-04:00

I haven't included any pictures of paintings in progress yet...and really, the fact that I have one to show NOW, a scant ten days before the opening, is freaking me out a little. (?!?)

This is Precipice (oil on canvas, 54” x 96”). My daughter attended her junior prom last spring and I got it into my head that a painting of her prom group, sans heads, would be very, very cool. (Um, yes, EVERY teenage girl who is trying valiantly to conform to society wants a mom like me. Ha. BUT, I have to say, this painting is better than her last portrait done at age 13, of her looking sullenly into a mirror, named Drama Queen. But, I digress....) After weeks of begging - "can I, please, can I, huh, can I, can I, can I???" - she finally relented and 200 photos later, I had the right shot. I absolutely love the stories behind the painting...the couple who broke up the day before prom, the couple who broke up the night of prom, the corsages and shoes and fancy dresses and too-big or too-coordinated suits. Not one of them realizes the precipice they teeter over, the magnitude and importance of the adulthood they are about to enter...their concerns are so here and now. But, maybe that's the lesson to be learned. Just like with Rose-Colored Glasses, my original intent (a discourse on the narcissism of youth?) seems too judgmental and narrow. Isn't being IN the moment preferable?

Fulcrum

2008-09-17T15:01:00.003-04:00

The 26th is nearing and I am still painting furiously. Not good. And, as luck would have it, paint is suddenly taking extra long to dry, paintings are being difficult, and I am going into no-sleep, hyper-caffeinated overdrive. Want to visit the studio? (haha - I wouldn't if I were you...the paint is literally FLYING. I went to a dental appointment today and the hygienist asked me why my ear was blue. I managed, at 3 am this morning, to wipe off the smear of blue paint across my face, but guess I didn't notice it on my ear.)

So, you are looking at a detail of Fulcrum between the Mundane and the Mystical (48" x 60" - oil on linen); a painting that is thankfully done. The photo was submitted by someone very dear to me...someone who has taught me more in one year than anyone in my entire life. I was actually there when the photo was taken...at a Thai restaurant in Arlington. (Imagine a very big man taking multiple pictures of his eyeball...and to get the right effect, he had to pull the skin away from his eye, creating a bulging eyeball effect. All while eating Pad Thai. Talented.) You can see the reflections of the tree outside the restaurant as well as the many windows that surrounded us. Looking at this painting, for me, is like looking into the depths of his being, but at the same time, looking at a moment frozen in time. And, there is another element to the painting that isn't evident in the picture I have included...something that speaks to spirituality, transformation and, above all, balance.

Reflections upon my Imbalances

2008-08-21T15:54:00.006-04:00

Reflections upon my Imbalances is oil on canvas, 72" x 84". I've been trying to figure out what to say about him...how to explain him. The best I can come up with is to include an email I wrote to the person who submitted the picture.

I can't write much...way too much to deal with right now. But, I wanted to get you a picture of the final Reflections. I hope you agree that the completed portrait is far less intimidating than the unfinished picture I sent you.

Actually, painting Reflections has been such a wonderful experience for me and I wanted to share it with you. I don’t think of myself as a compassionate person (something I am trying very hard to change about myself), but something about the pictures you sent to me brought out empathy and concern in me. This was one of the reasons I decided to paint it...I thought if it could inspire compassion in ME, think of the good and beautiful energy it could bring out of everyone viewing it. As I worked on the painting, I noticed the feeling of compassion growing within. I thought a lot about you. I looked into your "eye" constantly and repeated a loving kindness mantra (May you be filled with loving kindness, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, may you be happy), hoping it might make some difference to you.

Then, at my open studio last week, I noticed the same sort of reaction in those who viewed the portrait. They were drawn to the portrait; to you. In their faces, I saw compassion, care, love...all good things. YOU have inspired this and I have no doubt that it will come back to you.

Be well, my friend.

Lizzy

Rose-Colored Glasses

2008-08-21T13:10:00.003-04:00

When I started this painting (Rose-Colored Glasses, oil on canvas, 54" x 72"), it was intended to be a "processing" piece - a painting used to define and reflect on something personal...usually a difficult past situation that I didn’t handle very well. (And, oh my, there are many. Maybe that should be my next show; “Paintings Needed to Process the Stupid things I have done.”) Rose was meant to explore that surreal time after a marriage dissolves and dating begins. Having been away from the dating game for so long, I was curious (and honestly, distressed) about how a person could seem one way at the beginning of a relationship and seem entirely different at the end of the relationship. Our society uses the idiom "seeing through rose-colored glasses" to explain this phenomenon. Definition: "With an unduly cheerful, optimistic, or favorable view of things." So, I picked one of my personal pictures; from a vacation to Vancouver (um, where this particular relationship concluded), cut out the person who was in the picture and colored the sea red. I absolutely swear I wasn’t trying to be nasty or bitter...and honestly, was surprised at people when they suggested I was. I was just “processing.” (yeah, yeah...tomato, tomahto.)

So, as I worked on this painting, I waited for an epiphany about where I went wrong and how I might do better in the future; how I might be able to avoid the pitfall of those rose colored glasses.

The self-realization came...a little different than I expected, however. First, I finally realized the negative tone I was adopting with all of this “processing” (thick-headed, I know) and started looking for the positive. Which, in turn, made me start asking myself, “What’s so wrong with rose-colored glasses? Why shouldn’t I wear them ALL the time? Wouldn't the world be – or at least seem like - a better place if I did?” It might seem kind of Pollyanna of me, but I have made a conscious decision to wear rose-colored glasses 24/7 (metaphorically, of course....I would look silly otherwise).

Origins, Part Two

2008-07-31T12:33:00.006-04:00

Reveal/Conceal started with the internal reflection I talked about in the previous blog entry...but it was honed after many collaborative discussions with fellow artists and friends.

A conversation I had with a friend about how he really wanted to reveal his true self, but because of “societal” constraints, could not.
Another exchange with someone who, once I explained the show, volunteered to be the subject of one of my portraits. I asked him how he would like me to paint him and he was flabbergasted. “You tell ME”, he said.
A brainstorming session, augmented with an extremely helpful bottle of red wine, where a fellow artist and I explored the possibilities and range of a show like this.
Many, many descriptions from people on how they might interpret the theme “Reveal/Conceal” in a self-portrait. The imagination and beauty of their descriptions helped me understand the potential depth and complexity of such a request.

As I had these discussions, it became patently obvious that each and every one of us is on a similar journey...albeit in different stages. I wanted representations for as many journeys as possible to be included in this show, not just those that I was able to represent in my paintings; thus, the idea of the photo submissions.

There are countless numbers of people I have talked to about this show who probably won’t submit a picture. BUT, I have no doubt that the sheer exercise of THINKING about what they would submit will be beneficial in their own personal journey. And, THAT, is the goal.

Origins, Part One

2008-07-22T21:59:00.003-04:00

I have had this blog for all of a month and ALREADY I am a blogger-slacker. I apologize. But, there is good news...the lack of blogging has been the result of a step-up in painting. I have completed two additional paintings for Reveal/Conceal, Reflections upon my Imbalances and Rose-Colored Glasses. And I have just started Fulcrum between the Mundane and the Mystical. I’ll discuss each of these paintings in upcoming blog entries (which, I promise, will be in a timely manner...), but before I do, I thought I should talk about how Reveal/Conceal came about.

I was given the opportunity to have a solo show in the gallery where my studio is...a very large and very cool space. I knew I wanted to do a portrait show, but the final idea of Reveal/Conceal came to me in a very slow fashion. It started with considerable reflection on my first painting, Orange Narcissist (the orange face that heads this blog) and its story (which is actually MY story, since it is a self portrait).

Seven years ago, I moved to Richmond from the Washington DC suburbs. After many years of a successful sales and management career, I decided to take some time off when we moved to Richmond to be a “lady who lunched.” I was ensconced in the Richmond ‘burbs, taking watercolor classes with fellow suburbanite women (and, of course, lunching afterwards), painting pretty flowers and landscapes. But I just couldn’t get into those paintings. In a fit of frustration, I decided to try painting people in oil, but was embarrassed to ask someone to sit for me...so I decided to do a self portrait. I took my picture in the bathroom mirror, messed around with it in the computer and came up with a chopped up version of my face, BIG, close up and cropped, in bright orange. I knew right then and there that I had found my “style”, my voice. And, I haven’t looked back since.

My perspective after the completion of Orange Narcissist is reflected in the following artist statement:

I am a soccer mom/housewife who lives in the ultra-conservative suburbs of Richmond, Virginia. I am supposed to paint pretty landscapes. I don’t. I can’t.

Instead, I decided to paint myself, magnified, in various shades of orange.

Orange Narcissist represents the fire I feel within, the enigmatic nature of my personality, the nonconforming way I see the world, despite my surroundings. I look at this painting and see a women somewhat startled at being represented in such a way; a woman caught between the thrill of exhibitionism and the comfort of isolation. Various extremes wage war from within; vanity versus modesty, pride versus humility, virtuosity versus narcissism.

I see what every woman should see as she gazes in the mirror; a complex array of personality traits which come together to form a complete and whole person.

Of course, those around me couldn't relate to my "style" of artistic expression. I remember one woman looking at Orange Narcissist, cocking her head to the side and with a very quizzical expression, asking where exactly in my house would I hang “THAT”. Others suggested that if I wanted to make money I should paint "normal" things.

Which brings me to the journey...Orange Narcissist was, in essence, the start. It was about being who I really was, as opposed to who everyone else thought I should be. It was about answering to the voice inside, MY voice.

It hasn’t been an easy journey...it involved leaving the suburbs for the city (to be near my studio), divorce, losing lots of friends...all hard stuff. BUT, looking within is never an easy thing and I am convinced that this is the most authentic path I can be on.

Orange Narcissist will be the first portrait displayed in the Reveal/Conceal show, to represent the beginning of the journey. And since so much has changed since that was painted, I will complete a new self-portrait to wrap up Reveal/Conceal...because every journey is about growth.

SO...that’s MY portion of the story. Tomorrow, I’ll write about how Reveal/Conceal continued to take form, with input from others.

Reveal/Conceal Photo Submissions

2008-07-02T09:31:00.006-04:00

The Reveal/Conceal exhibit really consists of two components. My paintings will be a big part of the show, of course, but I also intend to display all the photos submitted. I currently have almost 100 photos and my goal is to have at least 200.

So where am I getting these photos? Lots of you are sending them my way - thank you! I have also created a photo booth of sorts. I tried it out the for the first time in Washington, DC at Artomatic (a very, very cool art event where over 1000 artists participated and 50,000 people attended - check it out at http://www.artomatic.org/). I set up a white backdrop, facing the corner for a level of privacy, put the camera on a tripod, handed the subject(s) the remote and told them to take as many pictures as they liked. There was no feed back for them; they had no idea what the pictures looked like while they were taking the pics or after. I ended up with a fascinating glimpse into how these people saw themselves.

If you know of an event where I might set up the photo booth, please let me know!

Revelations

2008-06-26T12:14:00.007-04:00

Let me introduce Revelations, my first completed painting for Reveal/Conceal. He's bigger than life - literally - at 6' x 8' and is oil on canvas. (The picture to the left is just a piece of the painting. If you want to see the whole thing, you'll have to come by the studio or attend the show in September. Not trying to be coy, I swear. Really.)

Rev (artist quirk= all of my paintings have to be named prior to my starting on them...names are chosen, for the most part, after considerable collaboration with the subject...then, as they progress, the names get shortened into nicknames...hence, Rev) started with a submitted photo. One of the first submissions, actually.

One look at the photograph and I KNEW he (another artist quirk= all of my paintings are "he"s) would be a painting and he would be a BIG painting.

Really, he is the ultimate Reveal/Conceal, isn't he? Completely revealed, yet completely concealed.

Welcome to the Reveal/Conceal Blog

2008-06-23T19:28:00.002-04:00

OK, my first blog entry.

No pressure here. :)

Well, first things first...this blog is about an upcoming exhibit I will be having in September of this year. I have included an explanation of the show (on the right) and a copy of the postcard (below) that I have been passing out for the several months. I had over 1500 printed and most have been distributed...mainly in the Richmond, VA and Washington, DC areas.

I will try to update this blog as often as possible and will include pictures of Reveal/Conceal submissions, paintings (finished and in progress) and general thoughts about this exhibit and my art.

I encourage and truly appreciate your participation.