Origins, Part One

I have had this blog for all of a month and ALREADY I am a blogger-slacker. I apologize. But, there is good news...the lack of blogging has been the result of a step-up in painting. I have completed two additional paintings for Reveal/Conceal, Reflections upon my Imbalances and Rose-Colored Glasses. And I have just started Fulcrum between the Mundane and the Mystical. I’ll discuss each of these paintings in upcoming blog entries (which, I promise, will be in a timely manner...), but before I do, I thought I should talk about how Reveal/Conceal came about.

I was given the opportunity to have a solo show in the gallery where my studio is...a very large and very cool space. I knew I wanted to do a portrait show, but the final idea of Reveal/Conceal came to me in a very slow fashion. It started with considerable reflection on my first painting, Orange Narcissist (the orange face that heads this blog) and its story (which is actually MY story, since it is a self portrait).

Seven years ago, I moved to Richmond from the Washington DC suburbs. After many years of a successful sales and management career, I decided to take some time off when we moved to Richmond to be a “lady who lunched.” I was ensconced in the Richmond ‘burbs, taking watercolor classes with fellow suburbanite women (and, of course, lunching afterwards), painting pretty flowers and landscapes. But I just couldn’t get into those paintings. In a fit of frustration, I decided to try painting people in oil, but was embarrassed to ask someone to sit for me...so I decided to do a self portrait. I took my picture in the bathroom mirror, messed around with it in the computer and came up with a chopped up version of my face, BIG, close up and cropped, in bright orange. I knew right then and there that I had found my “style”, my voice. And, I haven’t looked back since.

My perspective after the completion of Orange Narcissist is reflected in the following artist statement:

I am a soccer mom/housewife who lives in the ultra-conservative suburbs of Richmond, Virginia. I am supposed to paint pretty landscapes. I don’t. I can’t.

Instead, I decided to paint myself, magnified, in various shades of orange.

Orange Narcissist represents the fire I feel within, the enigmatic nature of my personality, the nonconforming way I see the world, despite my surroundings. I look at this painting and see a women somewhat startled at being represented in such a way; a woman caught between the thrill of exhibitionism and the comfort of isolation. Various extremes wage war from within; vanity versus modesty, pride versus humility, virtuosity versus narcissism.

I see what every woman should see as she gazes in the mirror; a complex array of personality traits which come together to form a complete and whole person.

Of course, those around me couldn't relate to my "style" of artistic expression. I remember one woman looking at Orange Narcissist, cocking her head to the side and with a very quizzical expression, asking where exactly in my house would I hang “THAT”. Others suggested that if I wanted to make money I should paint "normal" things.

Which brings me to the journey...Orange Narcissist was, in essence, the start. It was about being who I really was, as opposed to who everyone else thought I should be. It was about answering to the voice inside, MY voice.

It hasn’t been an easy journey...it involved leaving the suburbs for the city (to be near my studio), divorce, losing lots of friends...all hard stuff. BUT, looking within is never an easy thing and I am convinced that this is the most authentic path I can be on.

Orange Narcissist will be the first portrait displayed in the Reveal/Conceal show, to represent the beginning of the journey. And since so much has changed since that was painted, I will complete a new self-portrait to wrap up Reveal/Conceal...because every journey is about growth.

SO...that’s MY portion of the story. Tomorrow, I’ll write about how Reveal/Conceal continued to take form, with input from others.