Precipice

I haven't included any pictures of paintings in progress yet...and really, the fact that I have one to show NOW, a scant ten days before the opening, is freaking me out a little. (?!?)

This is Precipice (oil on canvas, 54” x 96”). My daughter attended her junior prom last spring and I got it into my head that a painting of her prom group, sans heads, would be very, very cool. (Um, yes, EVERY teenage girl who is trying valiantly to conform to society wants a mom like me. Ha. BUT, I have to say, this painting is better than her last portrait done at age 13, of her looking sullenly into a mirror, named Drama Queen. But, I digress....) After weeks of begging - "can I, please, can I, huh, can I, can I, can I???" - she finally relented and 200 photos later, I had the right shot. I absolutely love the stories behind the painting...the couple who broke up the day before prom, the couple who broke up the night of prom, the corsages and shoes and fancy dresses and too-big or too-coordinated suits. Not one of them realizes the precipice they teeter over, the magnitude and importance of the adulthood they are about to enter...their concerns are so here and now. But, maybe that's the lesson to be learned. Just like with Rose-Colored Glasses, my original intent (a discourse on the narcissism of youth?) seems too judgmental and narrow. Isn't being IN the moment preferable?

Fulcrum

The 26th is nearing and I am still painting furiously. Not good. And, as luck would have it, paint is suddenly taking extra long to dry, paintings are being difficult, and I am going into no-sleep, hyper-caffeinated overdrive. Want to visit the studio? (haha - I wouldn't if I were you...the paint is literally FLYING. I went to a dental appointment today and the hygienist asked me why my ear was blue. I managed, at 3 am this morning, to wipe off the smear of blue paint across my face, but guess I didn't notice it on my ear.)


So, you are looking at a detail of Fulcrum between the Mundane and the Mystical (48" x 60" - oil on linen); a painting that is thankfully done. The photo was submitted by someone very dear to me...someone who has taught me more in one year than anyone in my entire life. I was actually there when the photo was taken...at a Thai restaurant in Arlington. (Imagine a very big man taking multiple pictures of his eyeball...and to get the right effect, he had to pull the skin away from his eye, creating a bulging eyeball effect. All while eating Pad Thai. Talented.) You can see the reflections of the tree outside the restaurant as well as the many windows that surrounded us. Looking at this painting, for me, is like looking into the depths of his being, but at the same time, looking at a moment frozen in time. And, there is another element to the painting that isn't evident in the picture I have included...something that speaks to spirituality, transformation and, above all, balance.

Reflections upon my Imbalances

Reflections upon my Imbalances is oil on canvas, 72" x 84". I've been trying to figure out what to say about him...how to explain him. The best I can come up with is to include an email I wrote to the person who submitted the picture.

I can't write much...way too much to deal with right now. But, I wanted to get you a picture of the final Reflections. I hope you agree that the completed portrait is far less intimidating than the unfinished picture I sent you.

Actually, painting Reflections has been such a wonderful experience for me and I wanted to share it with you. I don’t think of myself as a compassionate person (something I am trying very hard to change about myself), but something about the pictures you sent to me brought out empathy and concern in me. This was one of the reasons I decided to paint it...I thought if it could inspire compassion in ME, think of the good and beautiful energy it could bring out of everyone viewing it. As I worked on the painting, I noticed the feeling of compassion growing within. I thought a lot about you. I looked into your "eye" constantly and repeated a loving kindness mantra (May you be filled with loving kindness, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, may you be happy), hoping it might make some difference to you.

Then, at my open studio last week, I noticed the same sort of reaction in those who viewed the portrait. They were drawn to the portrait; to you. In their faces, I saw compassion, care, love...all good things. YOU have inspired this and I have no doubt that it will come back to you.

Be well, my friend.

Lizzy

Rose-Colored Glasses

When I started this painting (Rose-Colored Glasses, oil on canvas, 54" x 72"), it was intended to be a "processing" piece - a painting used to define and reflect on something personal...usually a difficult past situation that I didn’t handle very well. (And, oh my, there are many. Maybe that should be my next show; “Paintings Needed to Process the Stupid things I have done.”) Rose was meant to explore that surreal time after a marriage dissolves and dating begins. Having been away from the dating game for so long, I was curious (and honestly, distressed) about how a person could seem one way at the beginning of a relationship and seem entirely different at the end of the relationship. Our society uses the idiom "seeing through rose-colored glasses" to explain this phenomenon. Definition: "With an unduly cheerful, optimistic, or favorable view of things." So, I picked one of my personal pictures; from a vacation to Vancouver (um, where this particular relationship concluded), cut out the person who was in the picture and colored the sea red. I absolutely swear I wasn’t trying to be nasty or bitter...and honestly, was surprised at people when they suggested I was. I was just “processing.” (yeah, yeah...tomato, tomahto.)

So, as I worked on this painting, I waited for an epiphany about where I went wrong and how I might do better in the future; how I might be able to avoid the pitfall of those rose colored glasses.

The self-realization came...a little different than I expected, however. First, I finally realized the negative tone I was adopting with all of this “processing” (thick-headed, I know) and started looking for the positive. Which, in turn, made me start asking myself, “What’s so wrong with rose-colored glasses? Why shouldn’t I wear them ALL the time? Wouldn't the world be – or at least seem like - a better place if I did?” It might seem kind of Pollyanna of me, but I have made a conscious decision to wear rose-colored glasses 24/7 (metaphorically, of course....I would look silly otherwise).

Origins, Part Two

Reveal/Conceal started with the internal reflection I talked about in the previous blog entry...but it was honed after many collaborative discussions with fellow artists and friends.

• A conversation I had with a friend about how he really wanted to reveal his true self, but because of “societal” constraints, could not.
• Another exchange with someone who, once I explained the show, volunteered to be the subject of one of my portraits. I asked him how he would like me to paint him and he was flabbergasted. “You tell ME”, he said.
• A brainstorming session, augmented with an extremely helpful bottle of red wine, where a fellow artist and I explored the possibilities and range of a show like this.
• Many, many descriptions from people on how they might interpret the theme “Reveal/Conceal” in a self-portrait. The imagination and beauty of their descriptions helped me understand the potential depth and complexity of such a request.

As I had these discussions, it became patently obvious that each and every one of us is on a similar journey...albeit in different stages. I wanted representations for as many journeys as possible to be included in this show, not just those that I was able to represent in my paintings; thus, the idea of the photo submissions.

There are countless numbers of people I have talked to about this show who probably won’t submit a picture. BUT, I have no doubt that the sheer exercise of THINKING about what they would submit will be beneficial in their own personal journey. And, THAT, is the goal.

Origins, Part One

I have had this blog for all of a month and ALREADY I am a blogger-slacker. I apologize. But, there is good news...the lack of blogging has been the result of a step-up in painting. I have completed two additional paintings for Reveal/Conceal, Reflections upon my Imbalances and Rose-Colored Glasses. And I have just started Fulcrum between the Mundane and the Mystical. I’ll discuss each of these paintings in upcoming blog entries (which, I promise, will be in a timely manner...), but before I do, I thought I should talk about how Reveal/Conceal came about.

I was given the opportunity to have a solo show in the gallery where my studio is...a very large and very cool space. I knew I wanted to do a portrait show, but the final idea of Reveal/Conceal came to me in a very slow fashion. It started with considerable reflection on my first painting, Orange Narcissist (the orange face that heads this blog) and its story (which is actually MY story, since it is a self portrait).

Seven years ago, I moved to Richmond from the Washington DC suburbs. After many years of a successful sales and management career, I decided to take some time off when we moved to Richmond to be a “lady who lunched.” I was ensconced in the Richmond ‘burbs, taking watercolor classes with fellow suburbanite women (and, of course, lunching afterwards), painting pretty flowers and landscapes. But I just couldn’t get into those paintings. In a fit of frustration, I decided to try painting people in oil, but was embarrassed to ask someone to sit for me...so I decided to do a self portrait. I took my picture in the bathroom mirror, messed around with it in the computer and came up with a chopped up version of my face, BIG, close up and cropped, in bright orange. I knew right then and there that I had found my “style”, my voice. And, I haven’t looked back since.

My perspective after the completion of Orange Narcissist is reflected in the following artist statement:

I am a soccer mom/housewife who lives in the ultra-conservative suburbs of Richmond, Virginia. I am supposed to paint pretty landscapes. I don’t. I can’t.

Instead, I decided to paint myself, magnified, in various shades of orange.

Orange Narcissist represents the fire I feel within, the enigmatic nature of my personality, the nonconforming way I see the world, despite my surroundings. I look at this painting and see a women somewhat startled at being represented in such a way; a woman caught between the thrill of exhibitionism and the comfort of isolation. Various extremes wage war from within; vanity versus modesty, pride versus humility, virtuosity versus narcissism.

I see what every woman should see as she gazes in the mirror; a complex array of personality traits which come together to form a complete and whole person.

Of course, those around me couldn't relate to my "style" of artistic expression. I remember one woman looking at Orange Narcissist, cocking her head to the side and with a very quizzical expression, asking where exactly in my house would I hang “THAT”. Others suggested that if I wanted to make money I should paint "normal" things.

Which brings me to the journey...Orange Narcissist was, in essence, the start. It was about being who I really was, as opposed to who everyone else thought I should be. It was about answering to the voice inside, MY voice.

It hasn’t been an easy journey...it involved leaving the suburbs for the city (to be near my studio), divorce, losing lots of friends...all hard stuff. BUT, looking within is never an easy thing and I am convinced that this is the most authentic path I can be on.

Orange Narcissist will be the first portrait displayed in the Reveal/Conceal show, to represent the beginning of the journey. And since so much has changed since that was painted, I will complete a new self-portrait to wrap up Reveal/Conceal...because every journey is about growth.

SO...that’s MY portion of the story. Tomorrow, I’ll write about how Reveal/Conceal continued to take form, with input from others.

Reveal/Conceal Photo Submissions

The Reveal/Conceal exhibit really consists of two components. My paintings will be a big part of the show, of course, but I also intend to display all the photos submitted. I currently have almost 100 photos and my goal is to have at least 200.

So where am I getting these photos? Lots of you are sending them my way - thank you! I have also created a photo booth of sorts. I tried it out the for the first time in Washington, DC at Artomatic (a very, very cool art event where over 1000 artists participated and 50,000 people attended - check it out at http://www.artomatic.org/). I set up a white backdrop, facing the corner for a level of privacy, put the camera on a tripod, handed the subject(s) the remote and told them to take as many pictures as they liked. There was no feed back for them; they had no idea what the pictures looked like while they were taking the pics or after. I ended up with a fascinating glimpse into how these people saw themselves.

If you know of an event where I might set up the photo booth, please let me know!